Tuesday, February 5, 2013

So, I did it...

I finally bit the bullet, pulled the trigger, took the plunge, [insert your favorite cliche here]. 

Oh, you want to know what I did? 

Truth be told, I set up an online dating profile. 
Yep! That's right! I'm (finally) giving online dating a shot. 

It's been a long, long time coming. At this point...I've been single for an entire year- with very little effort to try to be with someone. I've had little things here & there- nothing that progressed into anything though.  

I had a realization over the weekend. Why oh why am I putting so much time & effort into something that's only bringing me down & setting me up to get hurt (again and again)?

:)
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So, Sunday night while at a Superbowl party with my girlfriends & some of their husbands- I brought my laptop along with me. I (nervously & skeptically) started to fill out an online dating profile. 

I got about 1/2 way through and then quit. I decided it was something I needed to do on my own. After half time, I said my goodbyes & headed home. 

Once I was home- I poured myself a glass of wine, powered that laptop back up & got to it.

I found the site I wanted to use, gathered 4-5 decent pictures of me & got started.

Now, it became a challenge! Writing things about myself- and writing them to make me sound like an amazing women.  This is where I got to thinking. I was searching deeply for positive & nice things to write about myself. 
Only Be You!
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At first, it didn't come easily. It was really tough! I didn't know what to say. I mean, when else do we have the option & the opportunity to PRAISE ourselves?!  Suddenly, though, something clicked & I just let go. I started to be REAL and HONEST about me. I thought of the compliments that I've received from my friends, family, coworkers & my blog life! I thought about these positives....and actually started believing them! I focused on describing the real Jenn. I weighed out who I'm not & what my strengths are not. 

I began typing away and it hit me. Y'all, I'm a pretty darn good catch. I've got a lot going for me- a lot that I never let myself see or believe prior to that moment. 

Confidence
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I filed out my profile completely, sat back and felt a sense of pride and accomplishment.

Not only, had I taken a HUGE first step by simply setting up my profile BUT I learned something along the way- I'm a pretty fantastic woman. Who knew that setting up an online dating profile would result in such positive personal growth?! 

I'm feeling empowered, confident and optimistic. 

Now?
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Continuing to be truthfully, I've already  had to start weeding out weirdos and skeezy guys. None the less, I'm excited to see what it brings down the road. 

Have YOU ever tired online dating? What are your tips? Advice? Positives? Negatives? I want to hear them all!

I'm so excited to keep you all posted on where this journey takes me & share my stories (good, bag, ugly) along the way! 



PS- thank YOU for your encouragement to do this. Without your support, well, I just don't know that I would have gone for it! 

PPS- all you lovely Georgia gals- any cute single friends?! I trust y'all to play matchmaker & I'm back on the market SO if you got someone...send 'em my way! (I'm only half kidding....mostly not kidding!) 


Wonderful
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22 comments:

  1. I love this post. I've done online dating on and off for the last decade or so. And I had the most success when I stopped trying to say "the right things," and was just honest. Truth be told -- I was pissed off at a guy when I filled out my most recent profile. I was tired of the B.S., and decided I was just going to be me and people could take it or leave it. I actually had the best response ever, and while nothing long-term came out of it, I learned a lot about myself and dating. And what I want in the future.

    I don't know any guys in Georgia, but if I come across any, I'll send them your way. You should check out the blog of another great Jenn in Georgia (http://jennsaidwhat.com/). She hasn't updated a ton lately, but I adore her. I think you'd like her too. She also writes for the WeLoveDates Blog, which is also fantastic.

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  2. Good for you Jenn! What site did you join?

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  3. It definitely takes courage to put yourself out there, so way to go on that! :)

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  4. I met Shaun through Match and I couldn't be happier that I did it. A lot of couples are meeting online these days and there sure isn't anything wrong with it. I think you'll be really happy with it, especially since it gives you the chance to weed out the weirdos and skeezy guys. I also love that it gives you the chance to search by certain criteria. Good luck girlfriend!

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  5. I am very pro-online dating!! That is how DP and I met!! Its a good experience just filling out the profile and making sure you are honest with yourself. When I filled mine out it definitely was accompanied by a glass of wine or two :)

    The best advice I could give you is, if you are serious about meeting someone join a paid site. I did Plenty of Fish first just to get my feet wet (no pun intended) and did not like that you could "browse" people - plus I got lots of lowlife/creepers messaging me. Once I decided I was really ready to meet someone serious, I did eHarmony. I loved the personality profile - it was very accurate especially based off what I learned in college (I was a Psych major) and I loved that you couldn't browse, you were matched.

    I'm sure sites are all different in different areas, but CONGRATS for taking the plunge :)

    Cannot wait to hear how it goes.
    xoxox

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  6. Good for you! I've had 2 serious relationships as a result of online dating. I am currently married to an incredible man that I wouldn't have met any other way. Its worth stepping out of your comfort zone for! Just make sure you set ground rules for yourself and stick to them. Good Luck!

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  7. Good for you :) You deserve to be happy and have someone who make you feel happy!

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  8. I've tried Match & just recently eharmony. You just have to be patient & be willing to weed through the weirdos to get to the good ones. I have two pieces of advice...things I learned the hard way. Make sure he has his own place and doesn't still live at home with his parents and that he doesn't have baby mama drama. I'm currently going out with a really great guy I met on eharmony. So we'll see where this one goes.

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  9. Congrats gurlie! That's a HUGE step!!! Can't wait to hear how it goes, and I hope you meet someone wonderful who will sweep you off your feet!

    P.S. I've been to 2 Match.com weddings and I can't imagine those couples without each other! :)

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  10. good for you! I met my husband online and we've been married almost 4yrs now :) it can work out beautifully sometimes! My best advice would be to not take it to seriously, starting out as friends with no expectations was what my now-husband and I did and we became best friends before I even realized it and we were totally honest with each other about weird stuff (we played this stupid game 'what's your weirdest habit?' ew. funny but ew well at least I was prepared!) hope it works out well for you!!!

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  11. do you follow Sarah at Life of Love? http://www.lifeofloveblog.com/

    She did a whole series about how she joined a dating site and some of the funny/interesting things she learned...she did meet someone though! And he's a keeper from what she shares :)

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    1. Veronica,

      You rock! Thanks for the shoutout!

      Jenn,

      Not only did I do a whole series (woot!), I actually set up a blogger friend by changing her Match.com profile and weeding out some of her pictures, then emailing guys for her (just the first emails, 'cuz she hated them). She's now been dating her lover for a while and they're planning on getting engaged soon, which I'm totally high-fiving myself for! If you ever have any fun dating stories (or creepy email stories, 'cuz I got a lot of those too!), let me know and I'd love to feature you on my blog!

      GOOD LUCK! Online dating will pay off, I have faith!

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  12. I love this post!! Micah sent me your way and I can definitely relate. I just wrote a post on this today, too :) http://hollyjean331.blogspot.com/2013/02/all-single-ladieserrlady.html

    But I guess my advice would just be to take it slow and not expect anything from it. Enjoy your time on the site and don't settle for the first guy who says "Hi". If they don't e-mail you back, they're not worth pursuing anymore. And if you don't feel anything for them through their profile and messages, don't try to pursue them anymore. It's not worth the struggle or heartache it could lead to.

    I'm in the same boat as you right now so feel free to vent or send me a message on Twitter :) (I just followed you but my handle is @hollyjean331)

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  13. This is going to be so great...I can just feel it! I think you're awesome for being brave and honest and really just putting yourself out there. I do agree though, you are a catch! ;)

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  14. I love the honesty of this post! I've never tried online dating but I would like to wish you great luck on finding the one! :)

    xo,
    janmloves.blogspot.com
    I'm having a giveaway on my blog if you're interested. :)

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  15. So proud of you Jenn! I actually met Michael online!!!!
    We dated for 3 years, and been married for two. And, we are so in love. Our love grows each and everyday. We have a beautiful son and God has truly blessed us.

    To me it is no different than meeting a complete stranger at a bar, by a friend, etc. I view them the same...in all reality...they're strangers at the beginning.

    I have tried and tried to get my cousin to do this and she just refuses. The other day..she was just getting on my nerves feeling sorry for herself.

    I love everything about this story and how you have seen how wonderful you are. Because you are. You're beautiful and I hope the very best for you.

    *Hugs* Sweetie!!! ♥

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    1. ...and let's face it
      it's 2013!!! ;) This isn't 1977 anymore. ;)

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  16. Thanks for your comments! I sent my bother your way :) Also, I love myfitnesspal, logging my food makes all the difference for me.

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  17. My husband and I met online. We met on MySpace, back when people were still on MySpace. Ha! Good luck!

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  18. Good for you! I am so excited for you. I tried online dating myself but wasn't really too serious about it. I went out on a couple dates here and there with guys but never found the one. One thought I was his one, but there was just something there that wasn't right. I seriously went out with him 3 separate times (in a 3 year span) and I just didn't feel it. If I just "gave in" I'm sure we would be married and kids now, but I never regret it because I found my love. It's so cliche to say you'll know when you know, but seriously you will know when you know. (I feel like im preaching to you, sorry). Keep us up to date on what happens. :)

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  19. I'm so proud of you! I know how long you have been considering it! I can't wait to hear about your dates!!! Please please please keep me posted!!

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