So, lately there have been things I've been wanting to write about. I've been thinking about what to say, how to say it & weighing just how real I want to be.
Back tracking a bit...I found out a few month or so ago that my blog audience wasn't exactly who I thought. I, of course, have all of you amazing ladies-once strangers but now friends and my support system. Then you know & expect that there will be some random people lurking around. That's fine by me....quite honestly, its par for the course when you have a blog. You just don't allow random comments, be wary of who you interact with & all is good.
Well, here is the audience whom I wasn't expecting...people that I know in real life....people from my past. Recently, I've learned that some of the readers of this blog fall under this category. Since I've learned this well, it's been harder for me to be real and give 100% of myself to my blog. It's been harder for me to use this blog as my "get away" now that I know I haven't been escaping very far from reality.
If not real, if not honest & if not myself- who am I?! When I started this blog in June....it was a place to write, to escape, to let it all out and to heal. What I found- I never would have imagined! Almost 500 readers- many of which who are close friends & are all over the country whom I email and/or text almost daily. I've found a support system, I've found a sounding board, I've found a hobby, a passion & something that brings me joy.
I've been in a blogging funk for the past few weeks. I've been holding back. I haven't enjoyed writing because its been surface writing. I pride myself on being a REAL, HONEST and GENUINE blogger and that hasn't been me for weeks now.
I've wanted to write about my struggles with my health, my challenges with my weight, my frustrations with my job, my dissatisfaction in my life, my confusion in the resurfacing of old relationships. I've wanted to ask for REAL help on how to stop being a crazy ex girlfriend, I've wanted to be honest about my struggle with being happy- I've wanted to bring back the depth that Party if One once had.
Unfortunately, it's easy to pass off as everything is "okay." There are enough link ups, sponsored posts, "fillers" if you will to disguise that there is so much more happening then what I've shared.
I did a lot of thinking....where do I go from here? These "fluff" posts aren't fulfilling enough for me, but, do I really want to put myself out there knowing ANYONE can (and may very well be...) reading it? I had to do a lot of searching and questioning.
Here's what I came up with. This blog...this party of one...it is MY SPACE! This is where I can be me. No one is forced to read this mess so if they don't like it....by all means click that little 'X' at the top of your screen. Furthermore, why shouldn't I be myself? Anyone who doesn't like what I say, is turned off but the REAL Jenn & anyone who is offended by anything I say- again they can see themselves out.
So, the great news?! I'm going to back too 100% Jenn! Upcoming posts on my weight loss journey, health annoyances, relationship struggles and just general figuring out this life posts are just around the bend!
Thanks to y'all for sticking with me through my "funk" & for your continued support that allows ME to be who I want to be!
I'm back & ready to be me!
So much love for you all!