Hi Friends!
So, there is something you should know about me....I am on a never ending quest to be healthy....in the easiest, least work for me, eating all the foods I want- way possible.
That's right. I'm that girl. The one who want some "magic trick" to make me thin, separate my thighs from one another & give me a flat belly. I'm the person who things there has to be some MAGIC trick out there that will let me eat ANYTHING I want- and still be 132 lbs.
(Note, I'm not 132 lbs right now. That may or may not be my early college, goal weight number....maybe!)
Over the last oh year & half, through a process of trial...and FAILURE...I've done fad diets/extreme diets/no diet at all. I've tried everything- everything except the good old fashioned eating health & exercising my ass off- literally.
So, it hit me one day. If there was a "GET THIN QUICK" plan...wouldn't everyone be doing it?! (And! If there was such a thing, it'd probably be super expensive and way, way, way out of my measly budget.)
Something just clicked in 2013. I can't keep going on like this. Y'all- I weigh more right now than I ever thought was possible. I'm not at my biggest anymore (SUCCESS!) but I'm not comfortable, happy or content with my weight/appearance/health/physical fitness.
Now, this is where I bare my soul (and weight) to inter-webs and that's tough for me, so please, be kind.
A little back story....I was a 'healthy could stand to loose a few pounds but I'm comfortable and feeling okay weight' about 2 years ago. (Typing this, I cannot believe it's been two years. Time flies when you're eating everything- ha!)
I was working out regularly, doing Weight Watchers & I was content with where I was at.
(Two pictures of me at my happy weight! Not perfect, but, comfortable in my own skin!)
Flash forward 6 months. I'm living in another state where I moved to be with my at the time boyfriend. Suddenly, my eating was out of proportion again. We had opposite working schedules, so, a lot of my eating habits changed. We'd get lunch together to make sure we saw each other that day OR I'd make a late night snack when he got off work and we were hanging out.
Okay, so at this point- I've gone up a pant size & gained about 20lbs. I can loose it, right?
Flash forward another 6 months. Boyfriend and I broke up. I'm in a a city where I don't have many friends & my family is all in GA. I'm majorly depressed. I eat anything (and everything) I want. It's how I coped. I'd work from 8-5 & go home and go to bed. I wasn't active, I was drinking (a lot) & I was eating junk (all the time).
Well, skip ahead & all my sob story details (because quite frankly, I just don't give a damn anymore) to May 2012 when I moved home.
I'll never forget the day (Mom, forgive me for sharing this story) that I realized how OUT. OF. CONTROL my weight loss had become. I was out look for apartments with my mom. It was a HOT day in May & I was wearing an empire waist dress. We were walking up a flight of stairs...and I had to stop....because I was physically worn out. I didn't think much of it. That's how things had been for me lately. Well, we got back to the car. Cue one of the hardest conversation I've ever had. My mom looked at me and said "Jenn...is there any way that you could be...pregnant?""
My heart stopped. One- could I be pregnant? Surely, not ! At this point I would have had to have been at very least 5 months pregnant. Two- Oh my gosh. I'm so out of shape, large and not well that I look like I'm 5 months preggo!
I was pretty positive I wasn't but, you know the drill. I took a test (I even went to have my blood work done just to be 10000000% sure there wasn't a baby growing in me).
You all can probably guess at this point- that it wasn't a baby. It was just FAT. I'm about to get real honest. I finally weighed myself for the first time in months. I was almost 200lbs. Y'all I'm only 5'2" and that was a HUGE jump from where I had been before.
(One of the very, very few pictures I have of me from that point in time! I was embarrassed.- and quite honestly, still am embarrassed to show it to you all. Granted this is a very unflattering picture, but, y'all I was not happy with myself at this point. This was Cinco de Mayo 2012)
I quickly started doing A LOT to shed the weight. Protein shakes, working out, not eating fast food, cutting out soda- by the end of the summer I had dropped close to 30lbs! I was close to 165. All those factors- AND the simple fact that I was on my way to HAPPY again! I was no longer in the cave of depression I had been in for the previous six months.
Well, then things got busy. I got lazy. I started eating lunches out again. I was drinking more- again. I plateaued and have been stuck at the 165-170 weight range for a couple of months.
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On one hand- I'm PROUD of myself for getting 1/2 way to my goal! I'm PROUD of myself for loosing 30lbs and losing it the RIGHT and HEALTHY way.
However, I cannot and WILL NOT stop here.
It's time to kick my butt back into high gear again because by the end of 2013, I want to be 135lbs. As of this morning....I have 30lbs to go.
The cool thing? I've done it before! I've lost 30lbs! So, I know without a doubt in my mind I can do it again.
I'm formulating a plan in my head that involves WORKING OUT, being ACTIVE everyday, eating HEALTHY and WHOLE foods, cutting out PROCESSED junk & soda (I'm 4 days coca cola free!).
In the future (read next Thursday)- I'll be getting a little more specific on WHAT exactly I'm doing & WHY I'm doing it.
In the future (read next Thursday)- I'll be getting a little more specific on WHAT exactly I'm doing & WHY I'm doing it.
I'm not an expert on weight loss, health, exercise....or anything of the sort, however, I wanted to share my struggle with you because I want you to know the REAL Jenn & I want us to see my progress- together!
Our version of The Biggest Loser is a little different than the one you see on TV! In Blogger Edition, no one gets kicked off, and we aren't just trying to lose weight. Instead we are creating a place to go when you need a little motivation, when you need to voice your frustration, when you are looking for a healthy recipe, when you are looking for a new workout to try. This is the healthiest link-up on the net!
So link up with your health goals, your struggles and your triumphs. Tell us about why it's been hard to lose the weight, why health and fitness is important for you or what you've learned. Share your favorite healthy recipe from the week, the fitness fad you are loving and the triumphs you've overcome.
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ReplyDeleteI can relate to so much of this post. I was not too far from 200 lbs. (at 5'2") when I started my own weight-loss journey. And coincidentally, 130 is my goal too. You can totally do this, Jenn. :)
ReplyDeleteI really like this link-up! I'll have to get a post together for next week. I think what you are doing is amazing, health inspiring, and will make you and everyone around you feel so much happier. You can do this! :)
ReplyDeleteWow! The fact that you were so open and honest really inspires me! Im at a point where I HATE to have my picture taken. I think that is sad. I've been on the "good" track for about 2 weeks now and feeling so much better! I cannot wait to follow you along your journey! xo
ReplyDeleteprops to you for sharing this! i can't wait to see you succeed....i know you will! good luck!
ReplyDeleteGirlfriend good for you for sharing this! I'm here for you in anyway I can be for support. Bravo for you getting half way to your goal weight! Feel free to email me or text me if you need anything! Proud of you!
ReplyDeleteI'm so proud of you for sharing all of this, Jenn! I, too, have struggled with my weight my entire life. I lost about 30 pounds 4 years ago and it was the best feeling ever. Like you said, if you've done it before...you surely can do it again!!
ReplyDeleteMy biggest problem is people telling me "Oh you're so skinny...eat that donut, Kristen!!" or "It's okay to eat fast food today...it's just this once!" I've read somewhere that listening to other people's comments like that will slowly but surely start leading to weight gain. It's like your brain starts saying "Just this once!" and then just this once leads to every single time you see a donut or fast food or other unhealthy foods.
After Billy and I broke up, I gained about 7 pounds and I was miserable. My pants were getting tight, my face was looking chubby and I just felt gross. I've been bringing my lunch to work every day the last two weeks and eating a lot more veggies, salads, etc. lately and I've already lost 4 pounds. It really is what you eat! Working out is great...but I've learned that working out doesn't do shit if you're eating donuts and fast food every day!!!
Anyway, I just wanted to tell you I love ya and I have complete faith in you. This post is going to be so inspiring to so many people (including myself)! You've got this.
I think you look great right now...especially in that most recent photo. Sexy mama. Don't get too skinny on us, guys like a little meat on our bones : ) It's true. Promise.
Looking good, Jenn! You are right, you can do it again! I am hosting a link on Fridays called Fitness Friday, you should stop by! It's another great way to find a little more motivation and get some support.
ReplyDelete-kelly
sweettea-lemonade.blogspot.com
Have I told you lately how awesome you are?! You look great gurlie and I've loved watching you grow in the past year and re-build your life one step at a time.
ReplyDeleteI am SO proud of you Jenn! Of course I think your beautiful no matter what size, but I'm just so happy that you are determined to become healthy! You can do this! Love you!
ReplyDeleteI love this post Jenn! You are on your way!
ReplyDeleteI don't know how I missed this post but I am seriously disappointed that I did!!
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, YOU ARE SO BRAVE to post all of this on such an open forum. I'm sure when you hit that PUBLISH button it felt fantastic to get all of this out there and in the open. Its much easier to deal with an issue if you're talking about it... My boss always says, "What's mentionable, is manageable.:
Second, I love how confident you are in yourself! You know you've done it before and you can do it again! That is a fabulous way to think!
Lastly, Your proactivity is so great. A lot of people can do 1 and 2 but don't do anything about it to change themselves or fix the problem. You are so well on your way to success!
I'm proud to call you my friend, Jenn! Keep up the amazingness :)